It has been awhile since my last post, I was recently given a clean petscan with softspots on my spine to watch out for and a monthly shot to help combat it. Amen, praise God, i hope it doesn't come back again. Next petscan in April, the time my mother said my 3 years of hardship would be nearing its end.

I don't like writing in a journal, I suppose that is why blogging has become so popular, I write in hopes of helping or blessing someone else with the information I have in my head. Today I am venturing out and facing my fears. Living in a comfort zone and bubble provides security and safety. I am filled with anxiety when I think about leaving my home alone, and today I purpose to do just that..to walk somewhere in the great outdoors, outside my comfort bubble of a few hundred yards. I have a book and video due at the library, just have to be mindful of the time so I am not late picking my daughter up from the school bus. And so off I go, after lunch. I suppose fear and procrastination are a bad match, but often go hand in hand. With the Lord to comfort and guide me, whom do I have to fear? The Lord has brought me through this far, and it is the Lord who will be my protector. Amen.

Well after three attempts to leave, I finally did it. It was sprinkling and windy at the time which would discourage any agorophobe, but I did it! I went, i saw, i conquered my fear. Walked to the library which is about .7 miles one way, (which i found out from my pedometer iphone app) stayed and worked on my homework for school. I would have stayed a lil longer, but a homeless guy (or what I perceived to be) sat down rather close to me and my nose couldn't take it any longer. I am not as upset as he was that he was perceived homeless, but I don't give money to people who have mismanaged it so poorly they end up in a place like the library for a home. I didn't have any food on me sadly for the both of us, my tummy was rumbling. On the way home I passed by Robeks but there was a line so I kept on truckin'. What a day to decide to go out, the wind was blowing so hard it was pushing me around on the sidewalk! Thank goodness I didn't get rained on, although I was prepared in the event that it happened. And I found out there is a chess table at the park across the street from me. Now I can pretend to have friends and play chess like Bobby Fisher. hehe :)