LPHOH Ocean Kure Week

LPHOH Retreat – my story

My mother-in-law and 8-year old daughter accompanied me on the drive down to Carolina Beach in the chilly April spring of 2012. We had no idea what awaited us except for the papers we received before hand telling us where to go for check-in. We finally arrived at the lovely Kate’s Pancake House and were greeted with open hugs all around and the change that my husband couldn’t make it because he was working was quickly made. I was saddened that he couldn’t be with us, but at the same time, was ready to enjoy an all girls week at the beach. Once we finally found which house was ours – our gracious host got lost, she helped us with our bags up the stairs and let us settle in before we came back for dinner and directions.

 Once we joined in on the activities on Tuesday, our adrenaline was running, as we looked at everyone willing to try Stand-up Paddle boarding on such a cold and windy day (at least the wind was blowing inland). What thrill and exhilaration my 8-year old daughter and I faced when stepping onto a paddle board. You have to be on your knees until you get out into the water and catch your balance, then you stand up and hopefully don’t fall in the water. We saw a few people fall in, and just like in Wipeout, couldn’t help but laugh, all in good fun! There were professionals there, and we had life-jackets on so there was little to worry about, that is until I paddled myself out beyond the pier, the danger area! There was another man out there who had fallen in, and it wasn’t until I came around to this area that I plopped straight down on my board, without falling over. My mother-in-law quickly alerted the pro’s to come and help me and the surf quickly took us back inward. Ah finally, land! But I had caught the bug, I wanted to go out again, this time I had a camera attached so I wanted to be a showgirl without falling over! This takes coordination, which I luckily had that day. Once left to paddle inland on my own, I was able to just lift my paddle over my head and let the waves carry me in, the feeling was exhilarating! I would never have done this on my own, and certainly not in the conditions that the weather allowed, but with families around us going through the same maladies as our family, helped us to have more fun and create a certain bond to those we exchanged conversations and even glances with while venturing out and facing our fears.

Wednesday, paddle boating was cancelled and we took a day to ourselves, while Thursday we left it all on the table. This was surfing day! As my daughter and I put on our wetsuits, we quickly got a lesson on land how to surf. Being in active chemo treatments, I did not have the strength to stand up on my board from the belly position. The staff at Ocean Cure really worked with me on helping me to see that even if I got to my knees then I could manage standing up from there. 

Other than this malady, I just had to conquer my one fear that stood in front of me, the ocean. Once we were paired with an instructor, I had to quickly bring my surfing buddy up to speed on how I have never swam in the ocean. He quickly and calmly assured me that he would go at my pace, and anxiety seemed to dwindle. “Are you ready?” he asked, “no!” was my resounding answer, but we were off and soon I was on the surfboard. Wow, here comes the first big wave, followed by a gulp of seawater, okay close my mouth next time! Here I am on a surf board, grasping my board for dear life and trying to listen to everything my instructor is telling me. We made 2 runs without a surf and caught some water before going on a third run. 

Jeanine thought that I was done as I must have looked exhausted, but we were just taking a break! 

So here we go, third and possibly last run of the day, I am now feeling a little more like a pro, my board has only tipped once, and I am thankful for my wetsuit! You can really pick up speeds when you’re paddling and the wave is coming! Here comes the last wave of the day, and I pick myself up and get up to my knees and ride out the wave. I did it! I rode a wave, and it wasn’t what I pictured in my head, but it was still exhilarating at the same time. Whoever says surfing is a hobby hasn’t ever truly surfed, it is a full on athletic sport, working every muscle in your body. I can attest to this, because the next day I was sore all over! J

The next activity planned for the day was go-karting. I was so exhausted from surfing; we arranged to have my daughter and mother-in-law picked up so they could enjoy the festivities. All the arranged dinners that we made it to were just lovely and so heart-felt by everyone who prepared and cooked for them. 


By the end of the week, I had felt truly blessed for being able to do something my family never would have done on our own, meet new friends, and spend time at the beach. I am so grateful to Little Pink Houses of Hope for affording me this opportunity to keep fighting and giving me the strength and courage to finish my chemo treatments strong.

I often think of my time at Kure Beach and it is my new happy place of memories that I go to when I’m not in a happy place. We all despair and get depressed through a cancer diagnosis, LPHOH allowed me to feel like God really has a purpose for my life and wanted to bless me and show me I am loved and I am His no matter what this life may throw at me. Jeanine and her staff were angels of light and her love for Jesus shines through. Everywhere I go, I am able to speak about LPHOH and what a blessing they have been to me in my journey since starting my fight over 4 years ago. It is days like our Kure Beach trip that keep me going.

Good morning all, today starts my journey on a juice-fast however long that will be. My goal is to go for two-months and rid my body once and for all of this dreaded disease called cancer. I have had petscans clean and not so clean and my most recent one showed a new spot on one of my lymph nodes and warm spots on my back, three to be exact. My juice fast includes, not only juicing, but making smoothies, taking supplements, enzymes, praying and doing coffee/water enemas. Please join me on my journey to a healthier me and hopefully be inspirational to those looking for better energy, better health and a better quality of life. God bless you all!

Savory Spiced Salad Dressing

I just made a salad dressing and had to write down the recipe, it was great!

For the salad:

1 c lettuce

1 carrot

1 celery

& whatever veggies you feel like adding

For the dressing, mix everything together:

1 lime

1 minced garlic

1 tsp dried onion

1 tbsp avocado oil

1 dash parsley

1 dash dill

1 dash salt

1 dash pepper

for the top, add 1 tbsp parmesan cheese and

add olives to your preference! Enjoy!

The Good News

It was almost three years ago today, my mom told me that it would be a tough three years, but that it would get easier after that. Shortly after, she passed, but not until we were able to fly up to Alaska from Virginia to see her. She was waiting to hear her daughter and granddaughter one more time. I read Psalm 23 and Isaiah 40 to her, hoping she would hear what I was saying, and to give her peace and hope before her ascent into heaven. I just had a petscan on the 14th and the results came in on the 15th. My petscan came back showing no cancer. This is my second consecutive clean scan. After my first scan, i was put on tamoxifen and could only stand it in my system for 10 days. So it was basically up to me and God to keep a clean and healthy cancer-free body until my recent scan. Over a period of three months, it has been a trying, scary, stressful time. God is in control, Jesus was watching and waiting to give me the good news.

While we were at CTCA, there was the annual Celebrate Life celebration going on in a big tent in the parking lot. We were not able to take part in this celebration, because of my emotional state throughout the day, and because of the timing of my appointments - and having to wait forever to get my b-12 shot ordered. Thanks to the staff who helped calm me down in my time of frustration over this new drug - Faslodex, my petscan report, and just in general missing my mom and wishing she was here with me to share the news. Even though I know she has been petitioning for me in heaven.

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me and thinking of my situation. After meeting yesterday with the doctor, we succumbed to having faslodex as an alternative to tamoxifen. I guess what I was doing on my own accord, didn't equate to being healthy enough for the doctor, and drugs are always the first option for them. So I am trying it, and boy are my cheeks sore! It has to be given in the center of muscle, and what better place than your bottom! So please pray for me in my journey ahead with this medicine that is new to my body, always a challenge and hoping to be off of it soon.

It is a hormonal drug and I felt its effects right away, I was an emotional mess yesterday. I was crying for most of the day, and feeling the joint pain and nausea that comes with the drug as well. In my journey to be cancer-free, I feel like the biggest contributors have been Jesus, Adya Clarity (Black Mica), Kefir, Kombucha, Juicing whole veggies daily, coffee enemas, and detoxing. If you would like more information on any of the above, I would be happy to share it with you.

After our trip, we had to drive to the middle of PA to pick up Mariah and we decided to go for a walk uphill while waiting for my husband's parents. What a beautiful creation God has made.

Psalm 103 Of David.

1Praise the LORD, O my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

2Praise the LORD, O my soul,

and forget not all his benefits—

3who forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases,

4who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion,

5who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

6The LORD works righteousness

and justice for all the oppressed.

7He made known his ways to Moses,

his deeds to the people of Israel:

8The LORD is compassionate and gracious,

slow to anger, abounding in love.

9He will not always accuse,

nor will he harbor his anger forever;

10he does not treat us as our sins deserve

or repay us according to our iniquities.

11For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is his love for those who fear him;

12as far as the east is from the west,

so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

13As a father has compassion on his children,

so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;

14for he knows how we are formed,

he remembers that we are dust.

15As for man, his days are like grass,

he flourishes like a flower of the field;

16the wind blows over it and it is gone,

and its place remembers it no more.

17But from everlasting to everlasting

the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,

and his righteousness with their children’s children—

18with those who keep his covenant

and remember to obey his precepts.

19The LORD has established his throne in heaven,

and his kingdom rules over all.

20Praise the LORD, you his angels,

you mighty ones who do his bidding,

who obey his word.

21Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,

you his servants who do his will.

22Praise the LORD, all his works

everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the LORD, O my soul.

It has been awhile since my last post, I was recently given a clean petscan with softspots on my spine to watch out for and a monthly shot to help combat it. Amen, praise God, i hope it doesn't come back again. Next petscan in April, the time my mother said my 3 years of hardship would be nearing its end.

I don't like writing in a journal, I suppose that is why blogging has become so popular, I write in hopes of helping or blessing someone else with the information I have in my head. Today I am venturing out and facing my fears. Living in a comfort zone and bubble provides security and safety. I am filled with anxiety when I think about leaving my home alone, and today I purpose to do just that..to walk somewhere in the great outdoors, outside my comfort bubble of a few hundred yards. I have a book and video due at the library, just have to be mindful of the time so I am not late picking my daughter up from the school bus. And so off I go, after lunch. I suppose fear and procrastination are a bad match, but often go hand in hand. With the Lord to comfort and guide me, whom do I have to fear? The Lord has brought me through this far, and it is the Lord who will be my protector. Amen.

Well after three attempts to leave, I finally did it. It was sprinkling and windy at the time which would discourage any agorophobe, but I did it! I went, i saw, i conquered my fear. Walked to the library which is about .7 miles one way, (which i found out from my pedometer iphone app) stayed and worked on my homework for school. I would have stayed a lil longer, but a homeless guy (or what I perceived to be) sat down rather close to me and my nose couldn't take it any longer. I am not as upset as he was that he was perceived homeless, but I don't give money to people who have mismanaged it so poorly they end up in a place like the library for a home. I didn't have any food on me sadly for the both of us, my tummy was rumbling. On the way home I passed by Robeks but there was a line so I kept on truckin'. What a day to decide to go out, the wind was blowing so hard it was pushing me around on the sidewalk! Thank goodness I didn't get rained on, although I was prepared in the event that it happened. And I found out there is a chess table at the park across the street from me. Now I can pretend to have friends and play chess like Bobby Fisher. hehe :)

My recent pet scan

Where do I begin...

With hopes set high, Mariah, Doug and I set out to Philly on Thursday and my petscan was in the afternoon. We patiently waited for our results and even tried to change our schedule on Friday with the Doctor to earlier, but we had missed the call. So sitting down with the doctor he had explained my cancer was back in my back, a spot on my liver and a middle lymph node in my chest. This was very disheartening, frustrating and unbelievably hurtful to hear the news. I am still in a little bit of shock and would appreciate all prayers. We started treatment the same day and i have been through 1/3 of a round of chemo and it is already kicking my butt. I am trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle to be able to bounce back from this upset next year. I am doing four complete rounds of chemo in fractionated doses. It is different chemo drugs than what I was using before so it is having a profound effect on me. Since I am getting fractionated doses (less side effects and just as effective) we are having to go to Philly every weekend until December.

This is where the fun comes in, we need help watching my daughter during these weekends and I am not sure where to begin to ask for help. It is all so overwhelming right now. Any suggestions and ideas and positive thoughts would be appreciated.

We have been blessed to be able to make it through the beginning of the year in treatment and help from church family, and it dawns on us again that we need help and lots of prayers for healing.

Thank you.

Avemar for cancer

Talking with a few physicians about my after-care treatment after being told I am in x-ray remission, Avemar was one of the things recommended to me. After some prayerful consideration and research, I decided to try it for one month.

Avemar is said to be more effective at inhibiting (restrain) cancer cell growth than tamoxifen. Tamoxifen is prescribed mostly for breast cancer patients, in which I have been one. Doctors are not allowed in their profession to prescribe natural alternatives, therefore; their scope is highly limited in my opinion.

So anyway, my package came today after ordering it two days ago, which I thought was great after only paying $5 for shipping. It came with a freezer bag in the box to keep it cool/cold. I took it out of its packaging, not expecting to find stinky black fermented wheat germ. It looks like black rock crystals. I'm glad they flavored it with something, because otherwise I don't think I'd be able to get it down! I mixed it today with coconut water, bleh!

The taste was really gross, but the supposed benefit was well worth it, so I continued to gag it down. You are not supposed to eat 1 hour prior or after taking it, as well as no supplements for 2 hours before or after taking it. I guess this is to gain the maximum effect. It has been five minutes since it is in my system, and it is already doing something. I got a slight head pain from it already, it gave me a headache for only a minute. I'll keep the results posted on any unusual activity.

Here's to better health!

The next day...

I became a little bloated, but I guess that's what happens with grains, will try again today and take in between lunch and dinner. I will try mixing it with something that tastes a little better with it than coconut water!

A couple weeks later...

Wow! I am impressed, no more minor headaches like i was getting when I first took it. I had really bad metal mouth for two weeks taking this stuff. I think it was detoxing the chemo so fast out of my body, it was bringing it all to the surface. I had some garlic bread, slightly burnt and plastic silverware everywhere i went and this helped tremendously while dealing with the metallic tastes. Water was also a big help, sipping on water all the time helped to keep the effect of the metal down whenever i ate. Also tried to stay away from cooking in any kind of metal pans.

The metal taste has since gone and I can say that Avemar is honestly helping me get back on track with my life after chemo. I am now learning how to make my own fermented wheat germ in hopes of saving some money that the monopoly of this product has come to be. It also gives me energy and a new lease on life!